Sir Montgomery Browne-Envelope MP

  I would like to address some of the matters constituents have mentioned to me in the course of my recent MP Surgery. I would like to address, first, Ms Grainger of Dewbury Street who came to see me, anonymously, about the crime in the area. For too long people in this district have felt unable to go out due to the thugs, muggers, gangs and perverts. Indeed, my mailbag is literally bulging with letters of complaint about the issue. I haven’t actually opened any of them, but I am sure they are all of a similar nature. Let me start by saying the Police do not ‘waste their time’ as so many claim. I was speaking to the Chief Constable while we were playing Golf, and he denied any time was wasted. In fact, he called a meeting of all the officers in his force, and we hammered out these matters over four days. We were so pleased with the consultation, as a reward, we gave everyone the weekend off. Which was unfortunate timing, given Saturday night’s armed robbery. I appreciate so...

  I would thank you all once again for your continued support; I am aware some of my recent campaigns have been less than popular; I would like to thank Chorten Riot Police for handling those complaints. The Chorton bypass is a project which is close to my heart. Bridging Naughton and Wallop with one road will reduce congestion and aid businesses with both customer attendance and delivery logistics. I would like to think my comments at the planning meeting were constructive. However, certain parties with a grudge have decided that discussions between our twelve man and one woman board can be leaked to media. This is unacceptable. I am not going to name the person, I am above petty acts of revenge or malice, but I would advise she stops immediately. I did not, at any time, suggest knocking down the childrens home. Nor did I consider they all be assigned to work in a garment factory I have an interest in. I merely said that the property the youngsters are in is not fit for pu...

 Once again I think you all for your continued support. These have been understandably difficult times; I am, as ever, indebted to my wife, who has stood by me during the recent controversy. Of course, to avoid the constant eye of the press she is living elsewhere. I would also like to thank all my constituents, who have been very vocal in what I assume is their support. When I took the second job with the corporation in question, I was unaware of their business practices. WellSprings Biological Warfare Missiles limited never told me exactly what they did. Even on a visit to their premises as part of the negotiation, missiles were not implicitly mentioned, let alone biological warfare, and while it is true I did witness the 150 foot missiles in the distribution area, I did not have my glasses on and assumed they were just really big tubes of toothpaste. I have now resigned my position with them, though I feel obliged that I cannot, for legal reasons, withdraw from the paid...